If we ranked the most heard and fomented sentences of today's era, the phrases "love yourself above all" and "you are the greatest love of your life" would certainly be at the top of any list.
This advice is very widespread today, both by the media and by people in general. Ideas like "don't care about others' opinions", "those who love you accept you as you are" or "you must be the first one in your life" have been widely disseminated on television, radio, books, social networks and others media as being pleasant.
The constant and diversified dissemination of this idea, as well as the fact that it is propagated by influential people, makes this advice increasingly attractive to people's eyes. After all, who would care more about others than about themselves?
Despite the massive acceptance of this idea, the results that come from it show that, in reality, this is harmful advice. In fact, it is the worst advice anyone could ever receive. But why would that be a bad advice? Let's see:
#1 - Loving Yourself Above All Makes People Selfish
Do you know this cute little animal above? It's a hedgehog. And no, I'm not talking about Sonic here. I'm talking about this real life animal that has a spine-covered back, but a fur-covered belly. When the hedgehog curls up and forms a ball, he keeps the soft part of his body to himself, but leaves the thorns on display for others.
Do you know who else is like the hedgehog? People who love themselves more than anything. These people are like this tiny little bastard above because when something goes wrong or there is a situation that requires sacrifice on their part, they curl up, so to speak, keeping the best part for themselves and the worst part for others.
I'm saying (or writing actually ) they never sacrifice themselves for others and care only to satisfy their desires and concerns, to the point of trampling the feelings and well-being of others.
That’s why we see people who are so selfish that they don’t offer their seats on the bus for an elderly person to sit down, don’t make room for people with disabilities in the supermarket or are always willing to hurt other people physically and emotionally because they love themselves so much that they only care to satisfy their desires above those of others.
Of course, most of us may not have reached the level of doing the bad things mentioned in the previous paragraph. Still, we can develop a selfishness that makes us stop caring about the feelings of others and worry only about what we think or want.
So ask yourself: Do I tend to be selfish? Do I care more about satisfying my own desires and put what I want above the desires of others? Am I never willing to sacrifice myself when necessary to benefit others?
If your answered yes to all of those questions, perhaps it is because you have adopted the harmful concept of loving yourself above all.
#2 - Loving Yourself Above All Makes People Proud
Generally, people become proud when they are given some important privilege or status in life. However, even those people who apparently do not have any status or high position, still can develop harmful pride if they come to love themselves above everything and everyone.
Some may justify it by saying that because they receive a lot of criticism about their appearance, way of being or some other inherent aspect of them, they prefer to be proud in order to feel protected from these attacks. Of course, we want to feel good about ourselves and criticism generally does not have that effect.
But adopting the thought that "you must be first in your life" or "don't care about the opinion of others" will only make you more proud and think that everything and everyone is under you, a reproachful feature. Over time, people will withdraw from you because of this, as you will become more demanding, more critical and more self-centered.
Recognize that no matter how good you are at something or how high your position is, there will always be someone better than you. And if you feel bad about receiving a lot of criticism about some inherent aspect of yourself, develop more self-esteem without having to be arrogant and proud.
#3 - Loving Yourself Above All Makes People Lazy
When a new business is constituted, there are only 3 results reserved for it: either the business grows daily, or is accommodated always bringing the same results, or starts to regress, which in time ends up with the business. If you were to invest in any of these businesses, which one would you choose?
(A) The stagnant business, which always gives the same results?
(B) The regressing business, which only gets worse over time?
(C) The growing business that multiplies its results every day?
If you choose option (A) you will be investing in a business that will not be able to adapt to the constant changes of a competitive market, so in a short time it will become obsolete. Option (B) is even worse, since you will be investing in a business that is certainly doomed to fail. Therefore, you would certainly choose option (C), as this business will never be stagnant and will be able to adapt to market changes quickly, always producing the best results.
People are like a business. Just as you would choose a business that is never stagnant and always produces better results, so do people in general. Whether at work, in the family, in our friendships or in loving relationships, we want to be with those who always seek to be better people, improving their skills, qualities, behavior, knowledge and other attributes.
Unfortunately, people who love themselves above all become lazy. They think that everyone should love them as they are and that they don't need to improve anything because "whoever loves me accepts me as I am", they think. The result? In a short time, they lose their jobs, good relationships and other great opportunities in life simply because they prefer to be stagnant or get worse than seeking constant improvement in themselves.
Never love yourself so much until you get to that hurtful point. Recognize that there are truly toxic and destructive traits that others are not obliged to accept just because they love us. Readjusting ourselves and recognizing the aspects that we must improve in order to make living with others more tolerable is in itself an act of love, as it prevents the people we love from suffering from emotional wear and tear for enduring too much.
#4 - Loving Yourself Above All Makes People Stubborn
This is another consequence of loving yourself more than others. Many people do not view advice and criticism positively, especially if they are negative. But this is due to the fact that they feel so superior to others that they owe nothing to anyone, and that is why no one has the right to say anything to them when they are wrong.
That is why stubborns, when they are advised or criticized in a constructive way, prefer to adopt one of the 3 positions:
- Justify their mistakes even when it is clear that their wrong;
- Blaming others for what happened;
- Find errors in the person giving the advice.
But the truth is that unfortunately we are not perfect. So at some point we are going to need advice in our lives, and some of them will be very tough to swallow. The best thing to do is to accept that fact, and when advised, accept it positively, acknowledge your mistakes and be determined never to repeat them again, instead of thinking that you are always right and insisting on making the same mistakes over and over again.
Never love yourself too much to the point of that.
"But Bro, does that mean I can't love myself?" Quite the opposite. The Bible says that it is appropriate, and even necessary, to have a reasonable measure of self-love. This kind of love includes taking care of yourself, respecting yourself and recognizing your worth. (Matthew 10:31) But the Bible says that we should put self-love in its place and not think only of ourselves. Otherwise, we run the risk of becoming selfish, proud, lazy and stubborn people.
Try whenever possible to give priority to the feelings of others, because sooner or later, you will also need others to do the same for you. If you are only known as an insensitive person who loves yourself above all, and who doesn't care at all for the feelings of others, it will be much more difficult to have that reciprocity.
What other consequences do you think come from loving yourself only? Leave your comment below...
Read this article in portuguese by clicking here.
0 Comments