Do you consider yourself to be outgoing or shy? Do you enjoy making friends, having good family relationships and getting along with your co-workers?
Even if you consider yourself too shy, you certainly have a relationship that you cherish as a friendship, a loving spouse, or a funny coworker.
And that's because the human being is a social being. We like to have other people company, have good friends and we want to have healthy relationships, whether it be a family relationship, a romantic relationship, a friendship relationship or a professional relationship. We all want these different types of relationships to be pleasant and cozy.
However, some relationships just don't work. This is to be expected because although we are social beings, we are at the same time quite different from each other, which makes us more connected to people who like the same things as us, while we distance ourselves from people who are well different from us. This is normal and you don't have to feel bad if your relationship doesn't work out due to some difference in personal tastes.
On the other hand, if most of your relationships are fraught with problems and end very quickly, it may be that you are hurting them in some way. If you are someone with a pleasant personality, people will make an effort to spend time with you. But if in general people don't want to spend time with you or make an effort to stay as far away from you as possible, this is a sign that you are likely to have some toxic behaviors that are damaging your relationships.
To help you improve your relationships, I list here 5 toxic behaviors that you should avoid in any relationship to make them healthier and longer lasting...
#1 You are too critical & demanding
This may even seem insignificant to strict and demanding people. You may think, "Yes, I am overly critical, but I only want the best for my friends. That's why I'm very demanding!"
But even if you have good intentions, being too critical is extremely damaging to relationships.
Nobody, but nobody really likes someone who is too critical, because overly critical people can't see anything positive about people and things. They strictly criticize all attitudes and prefer to exalt the person's mistakes more than their qualities.
Whenever we judge other people, we are saying that we are better than them, and nobody likes to feel inferior to someone else. People need the freedom to make the choices they want without being constantly judged or criticized for every little action they take.
Making mistakes is how we all grow and change. No one is going to handle something perfectly. So, don't be too hard on people to point out every mistake they make. Learn to be more tolerant and patient.
If you are in a relationship where you only see the negative side of others and criticize each action or decision they take, sorry but you are someone nobody wants to be around.
#2 You don't respect other people's privacy
It is normal to want some intimacy when we are really close to our friends, family or spouses, as long as they allow it.
Still, there are limits to relationships that you should not extrapolate to respect the privacy of others.
For example, for family relationships, although you are very close to your brother, nothing gives you the right to simply go into his room and take anything from him without asking.
In the case of romantic relationships, you don't always have to be spying on your partner's phone whenever he is away or trying to find out their computer password.
And the fact that you are someone's best friend does not give you the right to browse the contact list of his phone, read his messages without his permission or require him to tell you the phone's password as a sign of trust on his part.
Trust is not gained through full access to all of a person's personal items, and you also cannot demand that access trough privacy violation. You either trust or don't trust your partner, friend or family member, and if you do, you show it by respecting their privacy.
So don't go thinking that by having a certain intimacy with someone you can know all the information related to that person, break into their phone without asking or requiring their Whatsapp password.
If you do this, it is very likely that this person will gradually move away from you.
#3 You are Controlling and Selfish
Do you demand other people to do exactly what you want? When you're out with your friends do you just want to talk about yourself? If someone disagrees with you, do you think that only you are right? Sorry but you are controlling.
Controlling people intentionally try to have power over another person. If you hang out with your friends, you just want to do what you want; if you are going to talk to someone, you just want to talk about the subjects you prefer, and if you are in a romantic relationship, it has to be done the way you demands and period.
The mistake in this kind of attitude is that you don't let other people be who they are and nobody wants to be changed. You don't give others an opportunity to even express themselves as individuals and in time you will make people walk away from you.
If you don't like someone's behavior and you find it intolerable, you better not even start a relationship with that person or at least limit your relationship with him a lot, and that is even more important if it's a romantic relationship.
After all, no one likes to feel controlled by someone else. So don't get into a close relationship thinking that person is going to change because you demanded it.
Picture this: it is very difficult for you to change yourself, even if it is a highly harmful attitude. And many unfortunately do not even change for God's principles. So if someone can't change for himself or for God, do you think you'll be able to change it? Of course not.
So if you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, stop being controlling trying to make them give in to all your desires. It is very likely that instead of changing you will cause the opposite effect and take the person away from you. So, don't be a controller.
#4 You don't apologize
Asking for forgiveness is an incredible way to strengthen relationships because you'are admitting that you're not perfect in front of someone and it makes you more relatable to them. Yes, you may feel vulnerable to someone but apologizing is important to build and promote intimate relationships.
If you choose to never apologize, even when it is obvious that you have been guilty, there is no chance that you will build an intimate relationship.
So ask yourself: When was the last time I apologized for my inappropriate behavior? If you answered more than a week, then you need to train your humility more.
That's because we make mistakes every day, often without realizing it. So, we have even more reasons to apologize every day when we really make mistakes.
You may not realize it, but if the words "I'm sorry" don't cross your lips and instead you keep making excuses to justify your mistake, then you are not the person most people would like to be around.
#5 You play the victim in your life
Imagine this situation: You are with your friends and each one talks about how amazing their weekend was. Then when you answer, you talk about your cat who died from being run over, your boss at work that is very boring or the betrayal you suffered more than 5 years ago. And this is repeated whenever you meet them. Do you think they will still want to be with you next time? Of course not.
Life is unfair, but if you think you're always the victim, it's probably your thinking, not life, that can really be the problem. For example, you can say something like, "My boss just doesn't leave me alone! I don't understand why he's always pissing me off!"
Well, what's the problem? Is your boss really bothering you unfairly, or is he just holding you accountable for showing up at work on time and you don't like it? Is there any part of this equation that you should examine?
Nobody wants to be around people who are victims. Life is difficult enough for us that we don't need to constantly hear about other people's problems. So, if you always make yourself a victim of your life situation, just talking about your failures and negative things, then you are also someone nobody wants to be around.
So? What did you think of these toxic behavior tips? If this post has at least 5 comments I will post the other 5 toxic behaviors that you should avoid in a relationship. So let's get 5 comments...
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